Make sure your partner is really into it, while keeping the intimacy. Here are some tips to help you do so:

☝️Dive into their eyes, and if they decline or seem uncomfortable, pause without insisting.

☝️Read their body language: is there a smile? Signs of pleasure? Are they responding enthusiastically to your advances (like sighs, calm breathing, a relaxed body, etc.)?

☝️Check in with them on how they're feeling, if they seem uncomfortable or tense, if they seem less receptive, not having fun, pushing you away, etc. You can ask them:

• Are you okay?

• What would make you happy?

• What are your limits?

• What do you want to do or how far do you want to go?

• Are you tempted by...?

• Is this pleasurable for you?

• Show me what you like.

• Do you want to continue? Or would you prefer to stop?

• Alright?

   

It's crucial to always give the other person the freedom to refuse at any moment and to respect their decision. This can happen naturally if you're attentive. In addition to obtaining their consent, this also shows your attention to their pleasure, which is as important as yours.

👉 Also read: A partner told me that I assaulted him/her: what do I do 👈

 You didn’t consent if:

• You expressed a refusal in your words, actions, or attitude

• You were paralyzed with fear

• You were scared to react or talk

• You had no other choice than to do what the other person asked

• You were coerced by physical or psychological force (blackmail, threats, bullying, manipulation, violence)

• You were under the effects of alcohol or a drug

• You were asleep

   

If you feel that your partner’s going too fast, that he/she is touching or petting you without your consent, say so. It’s too important. You should never accept something just to please the other person or out of fear of losing him/her.

 
👉 Also read: What is sexual assault 👈