Do someone speak English or there’s translation?
RoseOptimiste7
elle/elle
I hate myself I thought I could change in a second I’m overweight for my age I feel completely useless in hereI was a sunshine before then something died my aunt and I lost control I cried but Idk what broke me this much and let’s try to figure it out rn uhm I was sad she died first memory I remember really bc my brain erased my childhood memories but like Ik they happened but in a dream form weird rightWell the first thing I was in front of a mirror and I said ew I didn’t look nor feel beautiful or pretty and I’m still ew honestly I’m not good looking I always had anxiety like not stress but real mental anxiety I have adhd inattentive even tho I act crazy when I don’t take it lolI never knew what was taking care of myself I have problems with brushing my hair everyday and teeth or even shower seems weird but it was never implied in our routine as kid or was it I can’t recall but I also have problems with Money since my parents would say no we don’t have enough and now I’m scared if the cards ever declined on me or my parents so I buy the less I can like when you buy clothes for next school year I would buy like two and were my parents clothes and I overate since I thought I wouldn’t have some the next day and we would always eat pasta mostly so poof Yk got fat I was the girl never chosen in groups for anything Yk that lonely fat girl well that’s me even tho I was nice since well I loved people now I don’t that much but anyway I got used for things when I was a kid like oh give me that and we’re friends so I would pray to my mom so she would buy them for me and then I would just get a 6 min chat with them and I was like 5-7 at that time I’m the one who always clean with mom but mostly me because she has problems with her back and diabetes so I’m scared if she does too much she dies so I clean for her I lacked of attention and love as a kid so I fall in love so fast because I get a little of affection, yeah my mom loved me and my dad too but dad always work in the day when I was younger and now its every night and I’m scared he dies soon anyway my sister / twin would be not nice to mom so it was hard for her since she had adhd hyperactive so needed more attention than me and my little sister too since she was young two years younger so yeah I loved to read the whole dictionary and anything but now I do none of those I don’t feel like myself at allMy parents are great but they’re relationship is arguing over the mess in the house and I have no idea what is a good working relationship nor how to make it workNow as a teen almost 15 I hate itI never got learned how to study I feel like shit my friend was shit I would open up ( I know you shouldn’t do that always?)but I trusted her the only thing she says is same so stop it’s not that bad she was bullied to and ect now that I stopped she just tells things about me sometimes she goes up to me and say or your lesbian right but it’s aside of the classroom when everyone is lined up and waiting for the teacher to open the door and I’m like uhh and also she talked it so loud I wasn’t comfortable talking about it since I’m confused and she kept going on but when I text her about it by accident in her friends group chat I’m the slut going on with nonsense talk I’m talking shit and it’s not that bad or her bf whenever I see him I my class he call me cringe for no reason whatsoever also they’re couple look so forced once in a while they follow me like wtf and since I don’t want to talk to them I wait till I’m late oh also I got informed she talks In my freaking back but want I ask her it’s wtf no so I’m relief but she follows how I only think of myself and I feel like she right since I do think of myself since I never had friends to think of the only thought I have is what people think of me and I hate myself so being that. I got on discord young and I regret since I would just convince people to stay and not dying every day and I once made a friendship with someone with terminal cancer and I hate it since well I wanted them to stay just like my aunt but he died I don’t even know if it could have been just a prank idk lol shaking rn I hate myself bc I would talk to ppl until they like me and I would feel special so we get together even tho I never knew if it was love so I used ppl for love ( once tho) but still I regret so badI got a grandma that would judge our weight every time we got there and she stayed with us for two monthsWas hell my grandpa died the only one I had hit hard but it’s ok he told me if we ever sleep with them (at their house) he would make me the best pancakes so ya now I like someone and I’m scared I don’t actually like them I don’t even know what loves feel like it feels surreal in the movies I don’t know what I am if I ever imagine to be with a boy it would be but it goes the same way for girls but I don’t get butterflies thinking of a girl but when it’s boy to boy scenario it’s so ez I’m so messed up with all that and my life since I want to do figure skating but do I truly? It felt so gracious and great seeing on the screen and recreating on land make me feel alive and better than ever but my skates hurt even if I would go every Thursday to the rink and In parks inside available even in winter I would go and still hurt I feel wasted I don’t even have classes for it and I’m scared because It’s because I want to make ppl proud of me to achieve this greatness of going to the Olympics I don’t know if I’m doing it for me so I try to rush every things even tho I do think it’s for me I’m doing it please someone help I feel like dying so bad alright it’s hard everything and every time I tried to get in shape I broke a bone no joke I’m tired what am i? Do i exaggerate? What about figure skating? Look I don’t know anymore sorry if it doesn’t make sense best I can say is translate it or reread it
Dernières publications
Liste de discussions
-
ConfitureDynamique17
iel·16 ans
16hNudes et image corporelDonc je me suis mis en couple il y a deux mois et mon partenaire m'envois des nudes mais moi je n'ai pas envie car je déteste mon corp et j'ai comme eue une envie de vomir quand iel m'a demandé si je voulais en envoyer aussi et ça a comme tué le mood... je me demandais aussi si c'est une mauvaise idée d'en envoyer vue que je suis mineur ?
-
ZombaJudicieux5
elle/elle·15 ans
21hune question ?quelqu’un sait si une psychologue c’est gratuit en avoir une et avoir des séances ?
-
TornadeProductif6
elle/elle·15 ans
1jl amour fait maljai des doute sur ma relation et jais demander a mon amoureuse si elle maimai encore et elle ma dit oui mai je ne la croi pad et ca a lair quelle aurais dit a un intervenante quelle voulai que la relation se termine mais je ne croi pas lintervenante que faire sos jai mal
-
ZombaJudicieux5
elle/elle·15 ans
1jje suis perduej’ai tellement cette peur , je suis avec mon copain depuis très près de 1 an et c’est lui qui est venu vers moi au tout départ ensuite on a appris à se connaître et son sens de l’humour m’a fait craquer, je l’aime énormément. mais j’ai l’impression que puisque nous sommes à la même école et que nous nous voyons chaques jours et bien il n’y a plus de petite ´ flammes ´ j’ai tellement peur de ne plus l’aimer car je sais que je l’aime mais j’ai l’impression souvent d’être la seule à donner de l’amour et de montrer des signaux d’amour je lui en est déjà parler et je ne peux pas le changer il fait des efforts je sais, mais moi j’ai l’impression de ne plus l’aimer alors que non , il me manques constamment je suis hyper heureuse avec lui je me perds dans son regard mais je ne sais pas comment je me sens et j’ai constamment peur que lui perdre ses sentiments sans me le dire , donc je crois que mentalement je me dis il me l’avoue pas alors moi je perds la flamme mais je l’aime au fond bref je suis perdue sa serait quoi les signaux qui me dirait si je l’aime encore ou pas??
Réponses
VFQO0NQ1YPML
elle/elle
RoseSympathique7
Ado TJ·elle/elle·18 ans
Merci @VentApaisant12 pour cette magnifique réponse! Les Ados TJ on est habitués de répondre en français alors je me voyais mal tout répondre en anglais sachant que c'est pas ma force première haha! Merci énormément <3
VFQO0NQ1YPML
elle/elle