Pornography: to watch or not to watch?
You've probably heard a lot of negative things about pornography, and it's only natural that you should ask yourself what's true about it, and above all: is it wrong to watch porn?
Discovering pleasure through porn isn't automatically dangerous or problematic. In fact, what can be risky about watching pornography is consuming it too young, or too often.
Key point to remember
Pornography is not like sex in real life.
Porn actors and actresses play a game and get paid for it.
Porn can be super useful and fun for some people.
As a teenager, is it wrong to listen to porn?
It's not wrong to feel curiosity, to want to watch or even to like porn! In fact, just like everything else in life, pornography isn't good or bad : it's all a question of balance.
Porn is content that depicts explicit, raw sexuality - in video, in photos, in writing. And if we say it's aimed at people older than teenagers, it's because it takes a certain level of maturity and experience to make the distinction between the sexuality presented in porn films and that of everyday life, and between the sexual behaviors presented by pornography and those we like or don't, that we practice or don't. SO: it's super important to have the necessary perspective on what we see in porn. Because it can color our perception of sexuality, especially if we watch it young, with little or no experience. It can influence what you think is exciting, what you think you like or desire, what your body should look, etc.
Is real sex like pornography?
Porn is so ubiquitous that it's easy to believe it represents real sexuality. But there are quite a few differences with IRL sexuality:
👉 Porn actors and actresses are adults; you're a teenager, and your body's still evolving, so there's no point comparing you.
👉 Porn actors and actresses are paid to act in these films, it's their job: it's a performance, often with a script, and often highly amplified to excite the viewer.
👉 The sexuality seen in the most accessible porn films is based on penetration (vaginal or anal), focused on the man's sexual pleasure, with little or no communication between partners. The man is stereotypically dominant, and the woman submissive. Real sex is much more nuanced!
In real life, there are plenty of sexual behaviors other than those presented in pornography, and there are also, in bulk: awkwardness, hesitation, laughter, questions, hair, sweat, pauses to put on a condom or a dental dam, failures... Get the idea?
Does pornography affect my arousal?
The more porn you watch, the faster you get used to being aroused by very explicit images. Over time, it can become longer and harder to feel as aroused without porn playing alongside. If this happens to you, don't stress! Instead, take it as a sign to take a little break from porn, and focus only on your fantasies and imagination while you masturbate or have sex. If it persists, talk to a professional.
Can porn do me good?
Of course: for some people, pornography is a way of getting to know and understand themselves, exploring their sexuality and having fun. It's all a question of being able to use pornography critically, in a balanced and punctual way, without it taking up all the space.
Good to know
Give yourself a break when you feel you're starting to doubt yourself or feel less good when you watch it.
Develop your critical faculties by learning to recognize the difference between pornography and real sex.
Avoid being left alone with images spinning around in your head. Put an end to your questions and worries by turning to an adult.
