My friend is a victim of sexual assault

•   The most important thing is to listen openly to what they are experiencing, without judging them
•   Let them know that you BELIEVE them! You can make them understand that by not asking too many intimate questions about specific details, and by not questioning the events
•   Remind them that you’re there for them
•   Give them praise for talking about it ("you're really brave to tell me all this", "you're really doing the right thing by talking about it", "I appreciate your trust")
•   Let them talk to you in their own words, listen to their feelings and respect their pace. Don't ask them how they reacted, but rather how they felt. Refer them to an adult who can be there for them, to support and help them
•   Reassure them that it is not their fault, and that the abuser is the only one responsible for what happened
•   Don't promise them that you’ll keep it a secret. You can tell them that you won't talk to just anyone (e.g., your group of friends). But also tell them that what they’re telling you is a big deal, that it worries you and that it would be important to talk about it with an adult who can be there for them, to support and help them. For example: "I don't want to leave you alone in this kind of situation, it's important to find someone who can help you”, "I'm glad you trust me with your secret. What do you think about talking to...", "I think it would be important for you to get help from an adult too, what do you think?” “I’m not sure what to do in this kind of situation, but I know there are solutions. What do you think about talking to...?", "I understand that you don't want to talk about it, but your secret is too important to be left alone with", "I won't leave you in this situation and I'll be there to help you, but we need some extra help."
•   Encourage them to turn to other resources that can help them (parents, school counsellors and other professionals, CLSC, Tel-jeunes, the CALACS – a help center for those who’ve experienced sexual assault –  in your area, etc.)

My friend told me that they have done something inappropriate to someone or committed a sexual assault

•   It's okay to feel confused, hurt, angry, or all at the same time
•   You have the right to feel unsure about what to do about this friend
•   You have the right to take a break, or to take some distance from this person if that's how you feel
•   You have the right to want to stay their friend
•   You have the right to change your relationship with them, and to help them understand their behaviour
•   Don't promise that you’ll keep it a secret. Encourage your friend to talk to a trusted adult so that they can get help, or go to an adult yourself to talk about it.