Jealousy in a relationship
Feeling jealous can happen to anyone. But careful: in high doses, this feeling can become unhealthy and turn into partner abuse. What can you do if it takes over your life?
Is there jealousy in my relationship?
To find out if there is any jealousy in your relationship, you can ask yourself some questions 🤔. Does one of the people in your relationship…
- seem to want to control the other 🛑, and decide on who he/she is friends with?
- monitor the other person, 👀 for example by spying on his/her Facebook page or texts?
- try to prevent ⛓ the other person from doing things?
- try to make the other person jealous 😟 👺 in order to feel loved?
If you answered yes, then there is probably some jealousy in your relationship! All these actions prevent the couple from building a healthy relationship based on trust. If you feel this kind of jealousy or are a victim of it, talk to an adult you trust.
I’m jealous. 💚 What can I do?
Jealousy can destroy a couple. If you’re dealing with jealousy, the first step is to identify 🔍he circumstances when you feel jealous. What makes you doubt your partner? When do you feel threatened? 💡 Realizing you have a problem is the first step to healing!
When you’re overcome with jealousy, focus on your life, your friends, and your activities. That can help take your mind off it. If you imagine scenarios where your partner is cheating on you, remind yourself of the reasons why he/she likes you and the good times you’ve had together.
Calmly discuss your problem with jealousy with your boyfriend or girlfriend. He/she can reassure you about his/her feelings and you can find solutions together. If you need help, don’t hesitate to ask for advice from an adult, a professional, or Tel-jeunes.
My boyfriend or girlfriend is jealous. What can I do?
If your partner is jealous, you’re under no obligation to accept his/her excessive demands. ✋ You have a right to your personal life, and so does your partner!
If you avoid taking part in certain activities or seeing certain friends to please your boyfriend or girlfriend, you risk cutting yourself off from the outside world. Do you feel comfortable about being fenced in like that?
If your partner is jealous, 💚 talk it over together to find solutions. You can help your partner by asking what he/she expects of you, while respecting your own limits. Don’t hesitate to ask for advice from an adult, a professional, or Tel-jeunes.
I’d like to feel less jealous. What can I do?
If jealousy is taking over your life, identify the times when it happens and the reasons that make you doubt your partner. Try to concentrate on your own life, friends, activities, qualities, and the reasons why your partner loves you: you’re worthwhile! 🥇Every time you start imagining scenarios where your partner cheats or lies to you, block those thoughts and remember the good times you’ve recently spent together or the reasons why he/she loves you.
Take your courage in both hands 🤝and tell your partner what you’re going through. Calmly discuss your ideas of fidelity, your relationship, and your limits. Express your insecurity and together find good ways to improve the situation. For your relationship to work out, you both need to trust each other. If necessary, ask for advice from an adult, a professional, or Tel-jeunes.
Is jealousy normal?
We can all feel jealous at times. Jealousy speaks to our insecurity: we trust the other person but sometimes we’re scared of losing him/her. That’s normal!
If you feel jealous, identify when it happens and talk to your partner about what’s bugging you. Discuss your idea of a relationship, honesty, fidelity, and your limits. To feel good together, you need to trust each other.
Sometimes jealousy can take over our whole life and thoughts – it becomes unhealthy. Then we need to learn to manage it. To do so, you can work to develop your self-confidence or look for solutions with your partner. However, if you catch yourself spying on the other person, trying to control him/her, exploding with anger, feeling bad, or stressing all the time, it’s best to ask for help!
