Coming out
Coming out is something that's entirely up to you, and it's normal to have questions. Whether you're ready to talk about it or not, this article should help provide some clarity.
To remember
👉 Your coming out belongs to you: you decide if, when, and to whom you talk about it. Go at your own pace and only do it if you feel ready.
👉 Seek support: talking to someone you trust can help you feel more comfortable. Don't hesitate to ask for help if you're afraid of your parents' reaction.
Do I have to come out?
Nope. Your preferences and identity are your business. You can choose to talk about them when you’re ready, or never talk about them at all. If you do decide to come out though, make sure you’re doing it because you’re ready, and not because you feel pressured.
To make sure, you can ask yourself why you’re wanting to come out and whether you feel like you can handle people’s reactions (for example, your parents not accepting you). You might want to start by telling someone who’s ready to listen without judging (like a friend, someone in the same situation, or someone at Tel-Jeunes). That way, your first coming out will be a positive, affirming experience, which will give you the confidence you need to come out to other people.
💡Read our article: How can I figure out my sexual orientation?
I’m afraid to come out to my parents.
It’s definitely normal to stress about coming out. Talking about your sexual orientation or gender identity can be really freeing and positive for some people, but it’s a lot harder for others. The important thing is to only come out when you feel ready. To make the conversation easier, try choosing a time when your parents are available to really listen and pick a place that’s good for private discussions. If you’d prefer, you can also tell them in writing.
You might also feel like there’s never a good time to come out, but you still have the right to tell your parents who you are. That said, you may want to be prepared as your parents could have trouble accepting the news, and you might need to give them some time to process it. Just remember that you can’t control how people react, but that you should always be respected.
If the conversation doesn’t go as well as you’d hoped, turn to the accepting people around you (like Tel-Jeunes or friends and family who already know) to remind you that there’s nothing wrong with being yourself.
Finally, if you’re worried that your parents will really take the news badly, having a safety plan can help you feel more in control. For example, can you stay with a friend you trust if things go south? Talking about it with them could be a good idea.
