What’s the ideal age for the first time?
You’re probably wondering what the “normal” age is to have your first time? It may seem like a lot of people around you have already lost their virginity. But did you know that everyone is different and goes at their own pace?
What’s the ideal age for the first time?
That’s easy: there isn’t one! There’s no specific time when you should want to have sex for the first time. Everybody has their own pace, history, and feelings: you’re ready… when you’re ready! Sometimes your body might be sending you signals: desires and urges. It seems to be ready… but your head isn’t there yet.
In addition to the ideal age, there has to be an ideal situation. Do you trust your partner? Does he/she trust you? In case statistics can make you feel better, in secondary 5, only 1 out every 2 kids has already had sex.
Source: Lavoie, F., Hébert, M., Poitras, M., Blais, M. & l’équipe PAJ [2015]. Les activités sexuelles entre jeunes. Montréal: Université du Québec à Montréal.
Am I behind?
Someone’s personal pace can’t be rushed – it has to be respected. Pressure from other people shouldn’t influence you to experience your first time or do things that make you uncomfortable. Try to make your decision while not thinking about other people – what they’re doing, what they’re saying… or what you think they’re going to say or think! How do YOU feel? The answer’s right there.
Don’t forget: if someone puts pressure on you or harasses you to make love, that’s not normal and it’s unacceptable. If you have any doubts or feel uncomfortable, don’t hesitate to ask for advice from your friends, parents, or Tel-jeunes.
What is virginity?
Virginity used to be associated with vaginal penetration. As soon as penetration had occurred, you weren’t a virgin anymore. Today, virginity tends to mean that you’re not sexually active yet. So the definition is much more flexible and applies to guys as much as girls. For some people, masturbating with their boyfriend or girlfriend “counts.” For others, it doesn’t. But labels don’t really matter! The important thing is that you go at your own speed and feel good about your choices.
