Pornography

It is against the law for children under the age of 18 years old to view pornography. However, most teens view pornography, either alone or with their friends. While you may think this activity is more common among boys, we are realizing that more and more girls also watch pornography. Moreover, teens often consider pornography to be their only available source of sexual education.

The Risks Associated with Watching Pornography

Adolescent pornographic viewing is not without its risks. A teen who learns about sex by watching pornography registers in their brain false information about sex that they think is true, which could lead to them experiencing sexual difficulties and performance anxiety. For example, a teen who has a habit of watching pornography may find it difficult to become aroused by themselves or when they are with a partner. Moreover,  in some more extreme cases, pornography viewing can be addictive.

Pornography: Far from Realistic

Pornography may lead teens to believe:

• Sex means only genital contact, whereas in reality, it also includes tenderness, fondling, kissing, romance, and affection.
• Nobody ever experiences stress or fear of not pleasing their partner or living up to their partner’s expectations, whereas in reality, people do. In pornography, the people always seem consenting and ready for anything. In reality, however, not everyone wants to have sex all the time, with anyone, anywhere, in any way, and using anything.
• There is no place for emotions in a sexual encounter, as emotions are not often expressed in pornography.
• All men or women must look the same (large breasts, big penis, shapely, hairless body, etc.) to experience pleasure, whereas people of all shapes and sizes have sex, and all preferences are natural! The view of the human body that is promoted in pornography can have a serious impact on young viewers’ self-esteem.
• Condoms are rarely used. In pornography, you rarely see the people using condoms, whereas in reality, it is recommended and safe to use them during all sexual encounters.

How Can I Reduce the Risks?

As parents, we have several roles to play with our children when it comes to teaching them certain things about sex. For example, we can set limits, initiate discussions, encourage them to reflect on what they may see, and tell them about the repercussions of viewing pornography.

Managing Internet Use

As parents, we are not able to prevent our teens from accessing pornography because it is omnipresent. However, there are a few ways we can make it more difficult for them to access:

• Use parental controls.
• Don’t allow your child to use their devices in their bedroom with the door closed.
• Don’t allow them to take their devices to their bedroom or the bathroom.
• Make computers available only in spaces used by the whole family or when a parent is home.

Talk About Pornography with your Child

As parents, we can encourage communication about this topic with our children, by:

1. Talking openly about sex and values with them.
2. While it is normal for teens to be curious about viewing pornography, we can also talk to them about the risks associated with doing so, ask them what they think about it and ask them what messages they get from pornographic images (preconceived ideas, sexual roles, stereotypes, hairlessness, etc.).
3. We can also explain to them why there are rules in place at home such as parental controls on electronic devices.

La pornographie: loin de la réalité

La pornographie peut faire croire aux adolescentes et adolescents que:

• La sexualité comprend uniquement des échanges génitaux, alors que dans la réalité, la sexualité c’est aussi la tendresse, les caresses, les baisers, l’amour et l’affection.
• Le stress, la peur de déplaire et de ne pas être à la hauteur n’existent pas, alors que dans la réalité, ça existe. Dans la pornographie, tout le monde semble toujours consentant et prêt à tout, mais, dans la réalité, ce n’est pas tout le monde qui veut vivre de la sexualité en tout temps avec n’importe qui, n’importe où, n’importe comment et avec n’importe quoi.
• Les sentiments n’ont pas leur place lors des échanges sexuels, car ils ne sont pas souvent exprimés dans la pornographie.
• Tous les hommes et toutes les femmes doivent se ressembler pour avoir du plaisir (gros seins, gros pénis, corps bien faits, pas de poils), alors que tous les types d’humains ont des relations sexuelles et que tous les goûts sont dans la nature! Cette perception du corps humain peut avoir une grande incidence sur l’estime de soi des jeunes consommateurs de pornographie.
• Le condom est peu utilisé: dans la pornographie, nous ne voyons pas souvent les protagonistes utiliser les préservatifs, alors que dans la réalité, il est conseillé et sécuritaire d’en utiliser lors de toutes les relations sexuelles.